


A Million Little Holes You Never Show

by Moonanstars



Series: Freelancer Implosion verse [3]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:15:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24722926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonanstars/pseuds/Moonanstars
Summary: North could tell that South wasn’t happy with him right now.Of course, North could say that most of the time.  It was difficult anymore to come up with a time where he and South had been really in sync about anything.  North would tell others they got along until high school but that wasn’t really true.  His sister had always chafed against everything in her life and that had included her twin brother.
Relationships: The Meta | Agent Maine/Agent Washington
Series: Freelancer Implosion verse [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1628671
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> No beta so any mistakes are all me and my inability to use commas correctly. I have the next part almost finished so it shouldn't be too long of a wait. My original plan was for all of these stories under the Freelancer Implosion would be one chapter but of course this one just wanted to be different!
> 
> I chose Mature because of subjects that will show up in the second chapter, I am terrible at tags so if there are any I'm missing please let me know!

North could tell that South wasn’t happy with him right now. 

Of course, North could say that most of the time. It was difficult anymore to come up with a time where he and South had been really in sync about anything. North would tell others they got along until high school but that wasn’t really true. His sister had always chafed against everything in her life and that had included her twin brother. 

North hadn’t cared once he realized that his twin felt hemmed in by the way everyone expected her to be _like_ him just because they shared a womb. It was as if being her own person wasn’t an option. Even worse, they never asked why her twin couldn’t be _like_ her. So obviously people thought she was the inferior of the set and that pissed South off. To be honest, it pissed North off too. 

South was pissed off most of the time now. Freelancer was disbanded, all of the agents were wanted in conjunction with war crimes and worse, and North still had Theta. If you listened to his twin you’d think that was the worst crime out of everything that Freelancer had done, he still had his AI and she’d never received one.

North wasn’t sure what he could do about that but he wasn’t letting them take Theta. The AI had all been tortured enough. The idea of the child like AI being hurt made him feel sick. So he had to settle for trying to find a path that let him cover South’s back and keep Theta hidden and safe. 

But then Tex had showed up where he and South were laying low and wanted their help. Or, really she said she wanted North’s help and South took that as Tex was only taking her along because you didn’t get one without the other. He knew she didn’t give a shit that they worked together as an absolutely devastating team because then as far as she was concerned it was still all about North.

It didn’t help that South still wasn’t over the idea that Tex had fucked up everything for them even if she knew the truth about her, the program, and the Alpha. 

“Fuck you, if you just want my idiot brother and the light bulb to help you I’m not going. Don’t throw me any bones bitch.” South’s voice was something akin to a hiss as she crossed her arms and sneered at Tex. 

Even with her helmet off it was hard to read Tex’s expressions, aside from what North called her ‘are you stupid?’ face where Tex would tilt her head to the side and stare at you with a slight wrinkling of her nose and a line between her brows. After South’s outburst North was pretty sure that Tex was surprised. She’d done a slow blink with the same line she got between her brows when someone was being stupid before she shook it off.

“I want Theta, not your brother, but since I can’t take him without North he has to come.” Tex held up a hand before South could get out more than an irritated huff and cut her off before she could start a tirade. “I could use Delta too, but then York would want to bring Carolina and while we’re on a break from her trying to kill me I’m not really ready to test that out yet. I need a fighter that isn’t going to hold back and I need an AI. So I’m here for you.” 

And that apparently took the wind out of South’s sails as her mouth opened and closed a couple of times before she snapped her teeth shut.

“But...you’re the best fighter Tex, why do you need someone else?” North put his hands up in a peacemaking gesture when South angrily whirled on him for the question. “I’m not doubting South is who you need, I’m just wondering what we’re going to be up against. Being prepared...it’s a good thing right?” That seemed to mollify his twin for the moment and she looked back at Tex.

 _I don’t like this North._ Theta wasn’t projecting himself to be visible so it was just his voice in the back of North’s thoughts. 

North did his best to project a feeling of security he wasn’t really feeling for Theta. _I know, but we’ll be okay._ He was glad South wasn’t looking at him because his face always gave it away when he was thinking at Theta. 

“Always the boy scout North.” Tex chuckled. “To answer your question I need another fighter because we’ll be up against Florida and Wyoming might make a guest appearance. I’m good, but I’m not stupid.” 

“Florida?” North wasn’t expecting that. When they’d all ran from the remains of Freelancer not all of them had gone with Tex. Florida, Wyoming, they’d gone their own way and the last he’d heard Wyoming was working as a mercenary and Florida had disappeared off the map. Literally. Lower tier Freelancers like Illinois, Alaska and Arizona had all scattered to different worlds and remained out of sight. “You know where Florida is?” 

“She just said she did, didn’t she?” South rolled her eyes and punched him in the shoulder making North step away rubbing the bruise absently with his hand. “So, let’s go. Armor’s packed and ready to go so let’s blow this fucking rock.” South gestured around them with a harsh laugh. She was using her ‘excited for a mission’ voice. 

Tex nodded and didn’t even bother looking back at North. Everyone knew if South was going he wasn’t going to stay behind. “Ship’s ready when you are. We have one more stop to make on the way so make it snappy.” 

“Right. Just give us a second to wipe our information and close things out.” North and his twin had planned for this day from the moment they arrived. He and South both knew what to do so they turned without talking to start the process of leaving. 

There wasn’t a lot of time for talking after that until they got on the ship. North wasn’t sure where Tex had found the ship but from the outside it looked like it might fall apart if someone sneezed too hard in the same vicinity. Tex just looked amused at North’s obviously dubious expression and chuckled openly when he made his way up the ramp and gaped at the interior. Someone had retrofitted the inside with more military equipment than most military ships used. 

Once everything was stowed and the ship had taken off, North had taken time to get to know the layout and equipment, yes, he was the boy scout. But he was used to working with his twin. South wasn’t a fan of doing the work up front so it was his habit to be as prepared as possible to cover when she...went off plan. After that he made sure to find a place to bunk up and rest while he could.

He’d missed the feel of being on a ship and hadn’t even realized it. Even on the MOI there had been a subtle hum to every surface when you touched it but planet side you lost that sense of power and motion. For the first time since they’d fled Freelancer, North slept deeply and without interruption even if he was in a strange bunk in an unsecured room on a ship traveling to what was probably going to end up in injuries or someone getting killed. 

Maybe being on a ship wasn’t the only thing he’d missed. North really didn’t want to think about that. 

Later when he was sheathed in his under suit and armor for the first time in months North found South scavenging in a box of ration bars, making faces for the different flavors, and stole a bar out of her hand to unwrap and eat. It earned him an elbow to his ribs but since they were both wearing armor neither of them really noticed the impact. 

“You know we can’t ever go back there. Not after this, we’ll be too easy to trace.” South had been almost violently silent since they’d gotten on the ship with Tex the day before. North wasn’t sure what exact emotion was brewing under his sister’s skin but he could feel it radiating off of her like a thunderstorm. He thought it was maybe because they lost their new home already.

South made a scoffing sound and shook her head. “I know. I don’t care.” 

He’d definitely read the situation wrong then. “But...I thought you liked it there?”

“No, I was putting up with being stuck there. I never liked it.” They both had their helmets off since they were trying to eat so North was able to see the eye roll and look of disgust on her face. “You’re the ‘let’s settle down and do that family crap’ guy. I hated keeping my head down and trying to be just another person. Whatever happens after this job I’m not doing that again.” 

Looking back on it North realized she’d been telling him that with a thousand not very subtle clues from the moment they went undercover. He hadn’t listened to her. Instead he’d just assumed she wanted to do whatever he wanted to do because he wanted her around to keep an eye on her. God he was a terrible brother. “Well good, because obviously we’ll have to figure out something different after this.” 

He could feel Theta crowding his head a little in response to North’s stress while he took his last few bites of the ration bar. It wasn’t exactly an uncomfortable feeling, and not exactly comfortable either, but no matter how long he had Theta it didn’t feel normal to have someone (he couldn’t ever think of the AI as a _something_ ) pushing your thoughts and memories aside with their own. North lifted a hand to rub his forehead and winced slightly as Theta retreated with a dizzying feel of guilt when he realized he was pushing too much. 

“Hey, the spark plug giving you a headache?” South pulled North’s hand away from his forehead with an angry frown. 

North managed a smile and shook his head. “No, he’s just excited and keeps bleeding over. We haven’t been suited up for a while.” Truth and a lie at the same time to keep South from getting pissed off at his AI. North was getting really good at mixing things together so she didn’t know he was hiding things. 

“North…” South’s voice was that no nonsense tone that he would never tell her came straight from their mother but she never got a chance to finish what she was saying as Tex, without armor, stepped into the galley area. 

“We’re here, we’re going planetside for our first stop.” Tex did have a pistol on her hip but that was it for visible weapons. “You don’t need the armor but you can wear it if you want. Just leave the helmets. We’re not here to hopefully pick up a couple of passengers and not start a fight.” 

Since she’d been interrupted South just used her grip on North’s wrist to make him hit himself while he was distracted. Classical sibling move he’d been too distracted to block, and it hadn’t exactly felt great to get the gauntlet to the cheek so he snuck in a flick to her ear to make her shout then backed up a few steps with his hands up to keep South from turning things into a full out brawl. 

“Who are we here to pick up?” North noted that Tex was dressed for the cold and decided to keep his armor on since the only clothes he had with him had been for warmer weather and he didn’t think sleep pants and a t-shirt would really look great with a holster. 

Tex grabbed a handful of the ration bars to shove in her pockets like it was going to be a long hike before she answered. “Wash and Maine. I don’t honestly know if they’ll go but it was time for a check in and if they want to be part of this I have to give them the option.” 

“Wash and..?” South blustered and when Tex ignored her and turned to leave she walked quickly to catch up with her. “Where exactly are we going after this? What do they care about Florida and Wyoming if he makes a ‘guest appearance’ like you said.” North could hear the air quotes in South’s tone.

Tex turned around and North had to grab the back of South’s armor to keep her from crashing into Tex. It earned him another elbow, this time to the gut, and he felt this one through the armor as it left him coughing a little trying to catch his breath. 

Tex didn’t say anything until it was obvious the sibling abuse was over. “Look, I know I haven’t told you a lot yet. But, we’re almost there and I’ll fill all of you in at the same time. It’s a lot to go over and I don’t want to cover it a bunch of times.” She looked between North and South with a brow up. “Can you live with that?”

“Fine. Whatever. Let’s just go.” South slouched a little and even without seeing her face North could tell she was somewhat mollified. It wouldn’t last long so he hoped Tex wasn’t lying about how far they had to go. 

When they left the ship the cold wind stung North’s cheeks but at least it wasn’t snowing. And it wasn’t cold enough that the snow already there wasn’t melting into a depressing mix of slush and mud. It was messy to walk in and he was glad he’d opted to keep his armor on so he didn’t get soaked from walking through the mess. It wasn’t that hard of a slog, just sloppy enough that he had to pay attention to where he put his feet so he didn’t slide around and that gave him plenty of time to wonder what they would find when they got to their former teammates. 

The last time North had seen Wash and Maine had been a few weeks after the crash of the MOI. Maine had spent most of his time in a bed with what medical care they could scrape up on the run from the UNSC and the remains of Freelancer. Ripping Sigma’s chip out the way Wash did scrambled Maine’s brains pretty badly. He’d just started getting up and around when Tex split off with the rest of them to take Wash and Maine to hole up somewhere to recover. 

Wash had spent those weeks close to Maine looking like a haunted shadow of himself. He never would talk about what happened with the Epsilon implantation but the rookie they’d all known before hadn’t made it out of the surgery. North had spent some time almost every day with Wash checking on him and bullying him away from Maine’s side to stretch his legs. There had been something wrong with Wash’s memories, the corridors of the stolen ship confused him no matter how many times they walked them and he didn’t always recognize the people that they stopped to talk to. 

North had felt guilty about feeling relieved when Wash and Maine were gone. 

Tex hadn’t lied about it not being too far. They’d just started into the houses on the very edge of the town when she led them up to one with a yard looking out on undeveloped land and a covered porch that had stacks of wood on it. Unlike the other houses this one looked like everything had been lined up with a straightedge and a level. Not that the other yards and houses were derelict but there was something that screamed military discipline in how everything was arranged and stored. 

North knew it had to be where Wash and Maine were living because it was how the tiny hovel he and South had been staying in looked. Neither of them had been able to ditch the organization because what if something happened? What if they needed to find their weapons or get to cover under an unexpected attack? They didn’t know how to live in a state other than paranoid readiness. 

Tex led them up to the yard just as the two men came around the side of the house and North could only stare at first. They looked nothing like when he’d last seen them. They were both tan, Maine wore a knit hat but had his sleeves rolled up despite the chill and there were tattoos circling what he could see of his arms and wrists. Wash still bleached his hair but obviously not as regularly with the dark roots sticking out as far as they did. It wasn’t so much the cosmetic changes that made them look different, it was almost like they were living without a weight on them. At least that was the best analogy North could come up with in the split second he had to look at them before they saw the people at the edge of their yard and both pulled their guns.

“Whoa, just visiting.” North nudged his sister in the ribs and put his hands up. She groaned in irritation but followed suit. “Yeah, what he said.” 

“I told you I’d come check in.” Tex didn’t put her hands up but she didn’t let her hands anywhere near her gun either. “No need for a rough welcome.” North stuck a couple feet behind Tex as she started walking forward slowly. 

“Right, Tex, just Tex and North and South. Yeah we just uh forgot.” Wash put his pistol back in the holster at the small of his back while Maine followed suit with a quiet growling sound. “We don’t...I mean come in there’s not much to eat but we have coffee. Lots of…” 

For whatever reason Tex hadn't braided or put her hair up for the trip out to check in with them and the wind caught it flaring the blonde strands out like a fan before they flipped across her face. Wash had trailed off when it happened and suddenly all of the color was gone from his face. For just a moment he looked like the Wash that had just awakened from the surgery to remove the Epsilon unit. Actually he looked like he was going to maybe throw up or pass out. Or maybe both.

“ _Allison?_ ” Wash’s voice was damaged and breathless.

Tex sighed and rubbed her forehead with her fingers. “Well, that’s going to be a longer explanation.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The OC in this story was introduced in part two of the series, First Snow. You don't need to read that to read this.

“ _Allison?_ ” Wash hated how his voice sounded so dim and broken to his own ears. 

Tex didn’t look the same as the human Allison, although the Director had gone out of his way to find a soldier that was blonde and similar enough to his dead wife to implant the Beta AI into. And maybe when they’d put her through the modified Spartan upgrades a tweak or two had been done to her appearance to accentuate certain resemblances but you couldn’t just look at her face and know she was based on the Director’s dead wife. After all, that would bring up too many questions. 

Instead, the resemblance was in the way she tipped her head, the line of her neck and the set of her shoulders as she looked around and held herself ready to react along and the way the wind caught her blonde hair only to be tucked back with an impatient hand. All things that were programmed into her by the Director’s memories. The same memories that leaped up and took the breath away from Wash until his knees stopped working and he found himself falling.

Strong arms around his waist kept him from sliding down into the slushy mud. Sparks danced in front of his eyes as Wash tried to remember how to breathe. He kept his eyes locked on the tattoos circling Maine’s wrists and he put his fingers over the patterns where they came out from under Maine’s sleeves to center himself.

“OW!” The sharp yelp from North startled Wash into sucking in his first breath and the sparks receded and was replaced by the blood rushing to his head and thundering in his ears. “What the….damn it stop it! Fucking brat!” This time he had heard the crack of something being hit before South started yelling. 

Wash almost tipped into the slush when Maine let go of him with one arm to grab the small figure that had appeared beside them to throw rocks. Greta managed to throw one more that North mostly dodged before Maine caught hold of her. She continued to sign _Go away! Leave them alone!_ over and over even while caught under Maine’s arm against his side in a sort of restraining hug. 

Now that he could breathe again Wash managed to get his feet back under him and hold himself up so Maine didn’t have to try to wrangle them both. Now the arm around him was more for reassurance. Looking at Tex, Wash could almost feel his brain snap back into the here and now and it was just Tex again. He could see how she resembled Allison but it didn’t overwhelm him anymore. 

“I’m sorry, I’m fine.” Wash had to repress a smirk when he saw North ruefully rubbing his shoulder where the rock had caught him and South had her hand pressed to her hair with a silent snarl on her face for being hit. Probably because the person who’d thrown the rock was about twelve and South could have thrown her across the yard.

North had a grip on his sister to keep her from charging in and starting something, or possibly picking up a rock and continuing the rock fight, but he looked over at Tex with an expression so familiar it made Wash realize even with as much as they’d adapted to living here he’d been homesick for these people. His team.

“So, I thought you said it was time to check in, does this happen every time?” North’s voice was that mix of amusement and irritation that meant he wasn’t really that angry but if you didn’t answer him he could definitely get that way. 

Tex tipped her head to look at him like she was considering not answering but finally let out a long breath through her nose and lost some of the tension in her shoulders. “I haven’t had a chance to check up in person yet. I’ve had an agent looking in and making sure supply lines were kept open. I wish I had but there’s just too many things to keep an eye on.” She gestured impatiently at Wash and Maine. “I told you I’d tell you everything when I had all of you. I’m sure Wash can help me fill in the blanks for you.” 

So, North and South might know about Freelancer and some of what they were doing but apparently they didn’t know the truth of the AI and Allison. Wash reluctantly pulled away from Maine’s arm. “Like I said there’s a lot of coffee and it’s warm inside. We’ll be inside in a minute.” He didn’t want Greta to run off and bring help. And maybe he just wanted a minute to sit and breathe before they had to talk about things like the AI. About Epsilon.

Tex nodded and somehow she and North got South inside without anyone having to yank her along by her ear even if she did glare one more time at Greta. 

It was more Maine’s doing than his but they finally convinced Greta they were fine and with friends. Once she’d left to go home they could have gone inside to join the others but Wash couldn’t convince his feet to move. Those were his teammates. He was happy to see them. At the same time he wished they hadn’t come. 

He hesitated so long Maine picked up his hand to hold it while they stood there. Maine’s hand was so hot it felt like fire making Wash realize he was still on the edge of a panic attack. He was so stressed his hands were icy cold. “I know what she wants.” Wash looked up at Maine and attempted to smile but he was sure he probably looked more like he was trying not to vomit. 

_We don’t have to do anything._ As usual Maine used a mix of signs and the rumbles of sound that was all he could make after the shots to his throat. 

“We’ll see.” Wash squeezed Maine’s hand. “I am glad to see them though.” 

_Me too._

Wash took a moment to let the heat from Maine’s hands seep into his skin and chase away some of the cold. He drew in a long breath through his nose and let it out slowly through his mouth before he squared his jaw and nodded once. “Let’s go in. They’re waiting.”

**Author's Note:**

> Title references DeVochka's "How it Ends"


End file.
